At long last, I have finally returned! I know you guys are probably
dying for another story, so it's lucky for you that I found myself stoned and with some time to myself one evening. Lady R. L. was sleeping and we were still internetless. That's when inspiration struck. So, after doing a couple more bong rips and scribbling out a rough outline, I got down to business and banged out a story. And here is that story... probably my best work yet, if I do say so myself. Enjoy this bold piece of art I like to call... well, I can't really think of a name off the top of my head, so it shall remain untitled...
for now!
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"You got the munchies, Scoob?"
"Ruh-huh."
Scooby and Shaggy strolled out of the convenience store's doors and through it's gravel parking lot. They had a stakeout set up at a nearby lake to see if the SPRINGHILL SPOOK showed up. Shaggy and Scooby had volunteered to go on a snack run for the gang. They rolled a big, fat joint and took a walk down the darkening paths through the wood, coming upon a little convenience store meant for a nearby campground. There they filled a couple plastic bags full of snacks, and were feelin' pretty damn stoned to boot.
The walk back was a bit more difficult, as night had finally fully fallen. They were both relieved to see the Mystery Machine parked in amongst some bushes and shrubs, glinting faintly in the moonlight.
"Zoinks Scoob, like, back there in the woods I kept thinking that I heard footsteps
right behind us! I couldn't tell if it was because I'm like, TOTALLY baked, or if it was the Springhill Spook! And I didn't wanna freak YOU out too, so I couldn't say anything! Man, that was, like, the FREAKIEST 20 minutes of my life, man!"
"Rehehehe! Ri'm
really raked, Raggy!"
"Like, me too, maaan."
They stumbled through some bushes and up to the van. Flinging the back doors wide open, Shaggy stage whispered "heeeey, guys, like, I brought us some snackage!" Or, at least he would have if he hadn't of been greeted with the sight of Daphne and Velma using fred as a footstool while they smoked a joint.
fred snapped his head up from Scooby's water bowl, which he had been lapping water out of just seconds ago. The girls looked disinterestedly towards Shaggy and Scooby. "Woah, that was fast. Where the hell did you find snacks out here in the middle of nowhere?"
Shaggy was still staring at fred, who was staring right back at him. Upon further inspection, fred was wearing Scooby's collar, too.
"Did we tell you to stop? Keep drinking." Daphne snapped.
"And I don't want a drop of water left in that bowl when you're done, either." Velma added
fred bowed his head in submission, "yes, i'm sorry, Mistresses" and continued lapping.
"Oh yeah, we finished all your weed, Shag. Sorry. You're going to have to go out and buy us some more, I guess." To illustrate her point, Velma took a huge puff from the joint and blew it in his face.
"And we might have eaten all the Scooby Snacks, too. We had major munchies and couldn't wait for you to come back with the snacks. We made fred eat one first to see if they were for humans. I mean, they are SCOOBY Snacks, right? But you eat them all the time, Shaggy. But you also seem like the kind of guy who would probably eat treats meant for dogs, so we weren't really sure. Lucky for little freddy, they're just cookies." Daphne rambled absentmindedly. She brushed some crumbs from her dress and gazed around the room in a baked daze.
"Yeah, and they're pretty good, too!" fred chimed in.
"Hey, no speaking." Daphne snapped back to attention and pushed fred's head down into the dog bowl with her foot, soaking his hair.
Velma laughed lazily, "Bahahaha, do you realize how long it took him to do his hair this evening? Sooo long! Thank Daphne for doing that for you, freddy." She took another puff from the joint and exhaled an impressive lungful, clouding up the back of the Mystery Machine.
"Thank you, Mistress." fred murmured.
Scooby finally gathered his jaw from the floor. "Roly rhit."
"Like, you said it, Scoob!" Shaggy leaned down to Scooby's ear and whispered, "Like, the weirdest part is, I find this, like,
totally hot, man! Like, am I crazy? What about you?"
"Rell, Rhaggy, ri rink-" Scooby broke off mid sentence and stared over Shaggy's shoulder at the rotten, fishy face that had suddenly appeared there. "ROLY RHIT! RHAGGY, RIT'S RUH RINGRILL ROOK!!"
"Z-z-zOINKS! SCOOB LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" Their feet failed to find purchase on the ground, and they ran in place for a few moments before finally rocketing through the bushes. The Springhill Spook gave chase after them, roaring and swiping at them with his cold, fishy hands.
After spending some time being chased around through the woods by the half man, half fish-monster, Shaggy and Scooby finally circled back around to the Mystery Machine. "Like, I'm waaaay to baked for this, man!" Shaggy said to Scoob as he banged on the side of the van.
Velma stuck her head out of the back of the van, "What the hell is going on out he- AAAAHHHHHH!!! JINKIES, IT'S THE SPRINGHILL SPOOK!"
The ghoulish looking fiend stuck his green, slimy fish hands out in front of him and slowly advanced upon Velma. "OOooOOoooO! OOoooOOOOOO!!! OooOoOOOO-" the figure halted when it saw inside the van. "Woah, hold on a sec... you're asking ME what the hell is going on? What the hell are YOU guys doing?" said a muffled voice that came out from the monster's face.
Daphne was standing frozen, staring out of the back of the van at the monster. One foot was steadily balanced on fred's chest, and the other was just about to descend upon the side of his face. fred was in nothing but his ascot and he was adorned with an impressive number of bruises all over his body.
"Woaaah. Heh heh! Shit, man. That's pretty crazy." said the guy in the cheap fish face mask. He pointed some green, rubber glove-clad finger guns at the girls. "What are you chicks doin' later?"
Daphne rolled her eyes. "Ugh, gross." She then slowly put her foot down upon fred's face, teasingly massaging and squishing his cheek with her toes. "Don't look at me, you know the rules. Look at the loser in the monster mask. That's right... Good boy." She crumbled a Scooby Snack in her fist and rained the crumbs down on his face, causing him to flinch and sputter "Ouch, Daph- er, I mean, Mistress! There are crumbs in my- ah, in my eyes!!" which only caused her to drop more crumbs onto his face.
"Heh, heh." Velma chuckled as she sparked another joint that she had fished out of her turtleneck. "You're such a weenie, fred."
